PARENTING

Why Parenting Counseling?
My 4 Guidelines of Parenting

Why Parenting Counseling?

Parenting is hard, and there are no easy answers because there is no one size fits all approach that works for every family or every child or every developmental stage. As parents, we are constantly needing to adapt and to do our own work to become more conscious and less reactive. Who couldn’t use some help with that?!

Our children are constantly showing us:

When we can’t be present
What triggers us
What unresolved issues we have from our own childhood
What needs to be healed within us

My 4 Guidelines of Parenting:

01. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

These words of wisdom from Benjamin Franklin couldn’t be more true when it comes to parenting. Many behaviors can be avoided with a little prevention- good sleep, healthy eating habits, giving choices, etc.

02. No punishment.

Punishment teaches children not to do things- but for the wrong reason. Not doing something to avoid a punishment is different than genuinely not wanting to do something. The motivation is extrinsic (external) vs. intrinsic (internal)

03. No reward.

Reward is the flip side of punishment. It is again using extrinsic motivation rather than encouraging intrinsic motivation. Another way of saying it: It’s bribery.

04. No violence.

Violence erodes the relationship between parent and child. The parent is in a position of power, and this power should be wielded with the upmost respect. Violence can be physical, emotional or verbal.

Sometimes parenting my child feels like climbing a mountain, but there is rarely a time when—if I take the time to look—the view isn’t magnificent.

Meghan Fowler

Awareness, courage, and gentleness are the basic ‘weapons’ of the warrior of the heart. They cut through our habitual tendencies to fight or flee when we come up against painful or difficult situations.

John Welwood