Today I pushed one of those behemoth shopping carts with a car on the end, with my 3 year old inside, through an extremely busy grocery store. As I made a wide turn into the check out lane, I bumped into the cart in front of me that was being emptied by the store employee. “Sorry,” I said, “these things are huge!” To which she responded by completely ignoring me. “Huh,” I thought to myself. She had obviously heard me. When it was my turn to check out, I apologized again, “Sorry about bumping the cart, ” I said, making eye contact with her. This time she turned her head away, scanning my almond milk, with a slight look of annoyance on her face, again saying nothing. Then the thoughts really started in.
“I apologized, TWICE.”
“What’s her problem?”
“It’s not like anyone died.”
“I can’t believe she is ignoring me.”
Then I heard a voice. “Just stop thinking.”
Earlier today I had listened to a live guided meditation by Eckhart Tolle. That was one of his main messages: Just stop thinking. Easier said than done, right? Yet somehow his message had penetrated me that afternoon because looking at the checker, I just stopped. I stopped all the negative talk and the suffering it was creating for me and I started to look around. I observed the people in line; the people coming and going to do their shopping huddled in coats and hats on the snowy afternoon, and listened to the sound of the “beep” as my groceries got scanned.
I chose not to pursue it. I chose not to focus on it. I simply let it go….
Working with the mind is a key component to our happiness and well-being. The more emotionally triggered we are, the more difficult it can be because the more identified we are with our thinking. Being identified with our thinking has a particular feeling- sticky, a lot of momentum, an urge to be “right,” to be acknowledged or validated in some way. Pema Chodron refers to this feeling as shenpa, or “being hooked.” Sometimes, we get that validation, and we feel understood. And sometimes, like my experience in the grocery store, we don’t.
We can all begin the practice of “Just stop thinking.” By choosing to stop feeding the fuel of our fiery thoughts, and re-focusing our attention on the present moment, we create an opportunity that didn’t exist before- an open moment, where all things are possible. A moment that is not being colored by our thinking. The present moment anchor can be anything- the breath, the sound of the traffic, the sound of someone’s voice, a piece of art on the wall, or the beep of the scanning of your groceries.
When the last of my groceries were bagged, she turned to me, handed me my receipt, and said, “Have a nice day.”
“You too, ” I responded. And I meant it.