Your Self-Worth is Not Equal to Your Net-Worth

Your Self-Worth is Not Equal to Your Net-Worth

Adolf Merckle Commits Suicide

The press has been reporting on the life and death of  Adolf Merckle.  Adolf was a German business man who was ranked the 94th richest man in the world.  He employed 100,000 people and saw a profit of 30 billion a year.  As the economy took a dive last fall, so did his business empire.  Unable to cope with what was happening, he wrote a suicide note to his family and stepped in front of a train on Jan. 5th, 2009.  Why did Adolf Merckle commit suicide?

We Equate Who We Are With What We Do

When you meet someone for the first time, what is one of the first questions you are asked?  “What do you do?”  This has become the way we define ourselves.  “I am a teacher, a lawyer, a receptionist, a therapist, etc…”  But the truth is it is not who you are.  When you can step out of the limiting, narrow, job-based identity you have been conditioned to believe, you are left with an important question.  “Who am I?”  In Jan. 2009 it was estimated that close to 600,000 people lost their jobs.  Does that mean that 600,000 people suddenly don’t exist?  Of course not, but that’s the way it can feel.  I am nobody if I am not a teacher, lawyer, receptionist, therapist, etc…  Who am I if I am not bringing home my usual paycheck?  Do I still have value?

Answering the Question, Who Am I?

This is the question.  The question that we must all ask ourselves, and find our way to answering so that we can live a life that is in alignment with our answer.  Often, because of so many years of defining ourselves by what we do or by another’s beliefs and values, the answer to this question can become muddled, and we feel confused.  Then something happens, like the loss of a job or money, and like Adolf Merckle we suddenly find ourselves in despair and fear.  So, how can we explore the question, “Who am I?” especially during difficult times?  How can we re-connect with our inherent value, goodness, and passion, regardless of our paycheck?  How can we expand our view of who we are?

5 Ideas to Expand Your View of Who You Are:

1. See your current situation, no matter what it is, as an opportunity to re-evaluate your life. What do you enjoy?  What are you hanging on to that is no longer serving you? What can you let go of?  What would you really love to do?  What excites you?

2. Connect with your family and friends. There are a lot of low cost ways to do this including: story-telling, hiking, picnics, making photo albums, listening to or playing music, hosting a pot luck, puzzles, cards, visiting a local art museum, making art, volunteering, etc…

3. Set aside some time each day to sit quietly and simply be.
Feel your breathing and relax.  Often insight comes when we are not trying to make it happen.

4. Do something outside of your normal routine or something “out of character.”
A few examples are: drive a different way home, if you normally sleep in try getting up early, learn to play an instrument, stop to pet a dog, star gaze, learn to knit, go without makeup, ride your bike instead of drive, cook a meal for someone who doesn’t expect it, go without TV for awhile, make a handmade birthday card, take a bath instead of a shower, etc…  See what you notice.

5. Pay attention to what happens to you during the day.
Often we are so linear in our thinking and way of being that we don’t pay attention to what’s happening around us as we go from point A to point B.  Notice people, situations, nature, animals, anything that happens to cross paths with you during the day.  Be open to what comes your way and see what happens when you think of it all as purposeful and meaningful.

I Appreciate Self-Exploration But I Need to Pay My Mortgage…

The two are not mutually exclusive.  If all you focus on is paying the mortgage, you may be successful at that, but what is the quality of your life like?  Do you feel like you are living the life you are meant to live?  Do you feel passionate, excited and energized?  Is there way to pay the mortgage and know who are beyond that role?

I Will Feel like a Failure if I Lose My House/Job.

Losing your house or job is a difficult thing to experience, and you are not alone if this is a fear of yours at the moment.  If it does happen, you are bound to feel emotions such as anger, grief, and fear.  Experiencing these emotions does not mean you are a failure, and neither does losing your house or job.  It does mean that things are changing.  Blaming yourself is probably not going to be an effective way to deal with those changes, or to take care of yourself.  Ask yourself, “What can I do something about?”  “What is out of my control?”  See what opportunities you can find in this change rather than focusing on negative thinking about the situation and yourself.

Taking Responsibility For Our Sense of Self

The struggling economy is presenting us all with an opportunity to grow and expand our view of who we are.  You are not your job.  You are not your paycheck.  You are not your house.  You are a human being immersed in the mystery of life and there is no set way things should be or look.  The tragic ending of Adolf Merckle’s life is reminder of how desperate and hopeless life can seem, and a reminder of how skewed our view of our own worth can become.  We need to take responsibility for our own self-worth and choose to believe that our value extends far beyond that which we can fully understand in this infinite, inter-connected Universe.  Only then will we move beyond believing that our outer life circumstances define who we are.