Insomnia
Generally I am a sound sleeper. I found myself the other night, however, wide-awake, and I could not go back to sleep. I started to get frustrated- thinking of the day to come, how much I had to do, and how tired I was going to be if I didn’t fall back asleep. This of [...]
Forgiveness
Jane’s Story: I was recently talking to a client of mine, Jane, (not her real name) who had gone to visit her father. They had been estranged on and off over the past 25 years, beginning when he had moved out and stopped talking to her when she was 13. “I thought I had forgiven [...]
Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
A Class Divided In 1968, Jane Elliot, a 3rd grade teacher in Iowa, conducted an experiment in her classroom to teach her students about racism. She divided the class into 2 groups- those with blue eyes and those with brown eyes. On the first day of the experiment, the blue-eyed children were told they were [...]
Complex Inferiority
The Wisdom of Eleanor “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt I recently was talking to a client about a situation she is dealing with at work. She described it like this: “My boss is so condescending and talks down to me. She treats me like I’m stupid and [...]
But, I’m Right!
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” ~ Rumi “Being right is highly overrated. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.” ~ Author Unknown Recently I had a disagreement with a friend of mine who hadn’t responded to my email about getting together. [...]
Body Confidence
A few days ago, Ralph Lauren released an advertisement with model Fillipa Hamiltion that had been digitally altered, resulting in a freakishly thin Fillipa. Ralph Lauren did publicly apologize and take responsibility for the ad, however, it doesn’t change the fact that the company thought that the photo of an emaciated woman would be considered [...]
Communication Gridlock
Communication Gridlock Here is an excerpt of a typical argument between Ted and Jennie: (Names have been changed). “We have some version of the same argument over and over,” Ted said. “She nags me and then says I don’t listen. What she doesn’t seem to get is her nagging makes me not want to listen!” [...]
Inviting the Demons
Milarepa was a Tibetan saint. The story goes that he was peacefully meditating in his cave when the demons of greed, fear, and anger appeared. They were terrifying. The flesh hung from their bones, and they smelled foul. They held bloody knives and swords. Milarepa looked up and said, “Ah, I’ve been expecting you. Come [...]
The Joshua Bell Experience
A remarkable story was published in the Washington Post that was written by Gene Weingarten entitled, “Pearls Before Breakfast.” The gist of the article is this:Â One of the finest classical musicians in the world, Joshua Bell, plays his violin (which by the way is worth 3.5 million dollars) in the DC subway to commuters [...]
Do You Create Rules to Maintain Low Self-Esteem?
Rules to Maintain Low-Self Esteem Rule #1: Be perfect. Under no circumstances are you allowed to make a mistake. Rule #2: Always please others. Even when you are stretched to the limit, say yes to that extra task, appointment, or commitment. Rule #3: Focus on your flaws. After all, that is the only way self-improvement [...]
