The articles below will give you an idea of my philosophy and the way I work as a therapist. Golden is a convenient drive from many locations in the Denver metro area.
Don’t Kick the Cat
I’m not a cat person. There, I admitted it up front. Yet, these 4 cats made their way into my office space and they slowly grew on me. I fed them and gave them treats. They purred in my lap came to greet me when I would arrive. They were playful and most of my clients loved them. So imagine my shock and anger when one bit me! Hard! One minute I am holding him and petting him while he purrs and the next, he bites me! I couldn’t believe it. “We were supposed to be friends,” I thought, and to my horror, my next thought was, “Kick it!” Read more »
This Is An Elf Free Zone
My house is an elf free zone. “You don’t want an elf!? But why?” I’m asked in disbelief. I don’t want an elf because my life’s passion and work is to help people unlearn all that the elf epitomizes, which is the belief that one’s self worth and worthiness is decided by and dependent upon others’ approval. Read more »
The Jig Is Up
One of the hardest things for people to hear is, “If you are not compassionate with yourself, your ability to be compassionate with others is limited.” I get it! I didn’t like hearing it either. Why? Because it means the jig is up. Read more »
Wisdom from the Willy Wonka of Technology
To be honest I never thought much about Steve Jobs, even though I am a die-hard Mac, ipod and iphone user, and my 16 month old son knows how to use an ipad. However, after I heard about his death, I became curious about his life. Who was this man that invented the technology that I suddenly find difficult to go a day without? What I found profoundly impacted me. I’ve decided to let his wisdom speak for itself. Read more »
Compassion Confusion
In my work I talk a lot about compassion. What it is, and what it isn’t. There’s a lot of confusion out there. The biggest misconception I hear can be summarized as, “If I was really a compassionate person, I’d be ok with whatever people do that hurts me, because I know that the other person is hurting as well.” Although this way of thinking contains a seed of truth (the other person is hurting) it is a misguided view of compassion, and ultimately leads to more suffering for both people. Read more »
Victim Math
A client of mine recently described his struggles with his wife. “I do victim math. I start adding it all up. I watched the baby so she could work. I did the laundry. I vacuumed. She didn’t say thank you or appreciate any of it! Eventually, I feel resentful. The clincher is she will criticize me for something and I just blow up! Then she’s hurt and angry with me! Victim math is really hurting my relationship.” Read more »
Social Anxiety
You’re at a party that you didn’t want to go to in the first place, but you got talked into it. You walk in the room and immediately feel like everyone is watching and judging you. You start to feel extremely self-conscious and think things like, “I don’t know what to say to anyone. Why did I wear this shirt? I’m starting to sweat and everyone can tell. People are talking about me. Why did I come here?!?” Read more »
The Fly
In my last article, I introduced the idea of working with the mind as a way of curbing one’s temper. To read that article and watch a video by Pema Chodron, click here. Pema explains that we have little control of our external environment, so, what to do when we feel agitated, angry, and aggressive? We have to learn to work with our own minds. How do we do that? Through meditation. Read more »
Got A Temper? Wear Some Shoes!
Wondering what the heck I’m talking about? Watch this 2 and a half-minute video of Pema Chodron to hear the explanation.
The Shortest Article Ever
Is a video! I know what you’re thinking-how long is it? It’s 20 minutes- and worth every minute. Brene Brown talks about the following in a humorous, personal way:
- Connection is what gives our life meaning
- Those that feel connection feel worthy of love and belonging
- Shame is the fear of disconnection
- In order to have connection, we have to be vulnerable- we have to allow ourselves to be seen
- What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful
I hope you’ll watch.
